Birthdays

Some people hate birthdays. We like to think we have all the time in the world to do what we want but then a birthday comes along and it is so sobering that you feel mournful. 50 for me was like that. I did not see it coming.

I was so upset that I was that old and that I had accomplished nothing of value up to this point that it was like going to a firing squad. Now

I know why 50 is worse than 40 or 60.

You are not resigned yet. Once you are over it, it doesn't matter. You are used to being older and you come to grips with it but on your birthday night you might be in a tailspin over turning 50.

I have some tips for you to not be in total pain.

Surround yourself with others who are sympathic to your plight.

Talk about it. Face it and make a plan for part 2 of your life.

Do not approach 50 without at least 5 good and amazing plans for what you will do next.

Do not look back over the past. Nothing in the past matters. If you are a total failure then at 50 you can start again with a new plan and carry it out to not be a failure now.

If you were highly successful at what you wanted to do with your life then also push that aside and focus on the future.

There are five great things about getting older

You are less self conscious or really dont care what someone else thinks. Good use that to not be afraid.

You should have less responsibility at home so you can be freer to launch out and try new things.

You have extremely valuable knowledge that you gained along the way that now is ammunition to making the second part of your life much better than the first.

Your body is not in to bad of shape for planning new adventures yet. so that is good.

and finally you are more important to everyone else when you are older.

More people are linked to you so you have a broader base to live from.

think about this from one who has been there.

Listen or Pain

A friend told me that there were two ways to learn. listen or pain.

I know that yet do I listen carefully to others who have gone before me or do I have to go through unnecessary pain. Usually pain is a friend of mine who comes around every so often.

I was a wild child when I was young. My younger brother told me he watched what happened to me and did the opposite of it so he would not go through what I did.

I am glad to have been of service for someone.

So when I had my son, I tried to tell him everything that nobody told me so he could avoid pain as much as possible.

I know that he is making good choices in his life and I don't know if it is because of reason a or reason b but I am grateful either way.

I have talked to my friends and they have told me that they have not talked about everything to their children.

The best place to hear everything that they need to know is YOU.

You love them best, you have had experiences that you can use, and you will always be better than a stranger.

And you have to remember that when you tell them nothing about what you believe, you are telling them that is not important enough to even mention.

If you don't tell them someone else will.

How it turned out.

My girlfriend told me to just start my painting in my mind while I was on vacation. I actually did not want to go as I wanted to start the big painting. Even though I had only a rough concept, I wanted to get it going.

But we had to go on vacation. In my other blog I go into detail about it but what I want to say here is that the theory worked. I did have a dream about the big picture and I did get the rough draft of it in my dream. But I let it stew a day and the full monty came later when I was not looking for it.

That is what I want to talk about today.

I truly believe that what you ask for will be forthcoming but not in the way that you think. We are not puppetmasters pulling Gods strings. It is pretty much the other way around.

And all I can say about this is Thank God that it is not me. I may think it is me sometimes but It is not. Nope. I am only available.

The thing about life is you don't have to know everything before you start. You only need to have faith that you will not have to really do anything except walk forward. Every step will come when it needs to. and not a second sooner. Don't you find that comforting. And TRUER WORDS WERE NE'RE SPAKE!

A new work

I am working on a new concept painting. Today I primed out a 6 foot by 36 foot canvas. I am going to paint one idea all over the canvas and then cut it up into a show. That is the concept and I have never done this before but while I was just putting on the primer I was trying to imagine what the big idea would be. The big idea on the big canvas and I thought of the Henry Darger.

I think I will tell a story with lots of characters and lots of rooms and lots of colors. I have never done that before either. I am going to do a creative class thing and try and dream the solution tonight for the story and the characters and the colors. and the mood. and the reason for the show.

Every show should have a reason for existing.

Tonight is the night to think of the big idea. I will tell you what I come up with in the morning.

ads

Ads have to be true to work. making some story up is not useful. everyone sees through it.

what makes you buy something is you think you need it.

If you could only have half of the things you have now , how many things would it be.

To be honest, most of my stuff is stuff I thought I needed but really really really did not.

Most of the products in my medicine cabinet are things I thought would work or do something useful , but did not. It is hard to toss something you paid good money for.

Toss it. move on. If you can throw it out then do. If you cannot because you really cannot throw it out because you love it or need it . If you say everytime you look at it "Oh I just love this. " Usually the things with me that I cannot live without are art things. I have a sculpture I look at every morning and I keep loving it more and more. Even more than when I first bought it. That is a keeper. I love my bedroom. I love my dining room and cannot live without it now because the chairs in it are so beautiful.

But someone could come in and take all my clothes and most everything else and It would not matter. I might want the hard drive of this blog and the pictures of my paintings but the rest is tossable.

Now should you toss just because you don't love it?? the real answer is yes because it takes your energy to live otherwise. This is truer than true.

New York and Paris

I spent some time in New York a couple of years ago.

I was thinking how different the energy is there. For some reason everyone is in a massive hurry. They power walk down the streets. The river of people carries you down the street at the same pace. You even have to look fast at the wonderful shops and go on. You have to order fast because there is a sea of people behind you.

You get this sense of excitement that makes you feel important.

The buildings look important.

In Paris everything is different. There are still tons of people but they are way way way more relaxed. And they are all dressed up all the time. It is hard to find a shabby dresser in Paris. There is a sweetness in Paris that is like savoring a great glass of wine with a friend. It makes you feel all glowy.

New York is like a sledge hammer of excitement .

New York and Paris have one thing in common., they both are natural cities. When you live there you become like the city. Other cities you can just be yourself but in Paris and New York you are sublimated by the actual energy of the city itself. You have to yield .

Interviews

My husband and I are going to start doing interviews with artists who have been artists for a long time. We are going to show their work the whole time they are talking so you can see what they are talking about. I was going to show them talking but I think it is better to just let their work talk too.

looking at the person talking makes them uncomfortable and I would rather look at their work.

that is why you do interviews anyway. To see if there is something they know that you don't.

At least that is why I am doing these and these are going to be plenty interesting too.

I will ask them what I want to know. I do not care about the past and where they grew up. who cares about that. Your work is all that matters. Unless you have some fantastic story like you were raised by wolves something but even that would become what you are.

And art is not about what happened to you buy what was came out of you.

the first one to be interviewed is me. Even though you know a lot about me talking every day this will be about the actual art. not me. Yo will see what I mean when I do it. I sure hope my web guy can put this movie on this website so you all can see it.

If you are an artist and want to be interviewed let me know and I will contact you if you are really great. and pretty old so I assume you have learned a lot along the way.

think

Every single minute of every single day goes away from to toward your goal.

I know I have said that before. But you have to rethink this to understand it a little better.

As soon as you finish a project there is a sense of relief that lasts for two seconds.

Like vapor the enjoyment goes away and you have to do the next thing.

So you have to have a goal that is constantly changing and growing and refining and expanding and living.

the best goal and the only real goal is living in a way that is moving in the right direction.

Everything from weight loss to cleaning a house to a better relationship with your spouse.

Getting to that perfect weight or having the house clean is not the point. It is trying to get there that counts. moving in that direction. constantly moving in that direction.

So life is a dance. As long as we are breathing and moving in the right direction , the goal is where you are right now.

I say this because sometimes we think we are bad if we have not attained our goals and that is counter productive. Just keep moving. till you can't move anymore.

Contests

People enter contests to measure how they stack up against other people in their field.

I have entered a lot of contests in the past and I have judged a lot of contests. Since there are no absolutes in art now days the the reality is down to two things.

Either you have a taste for a certain kind of work or you know for a fact that a lot of people have a taste for a certain kind of work. ?Then it is good work.

Work that is called EDGY is just work that is neither well known or liked.

They call it important new work so that it will sound like you should like it because you should be smart enough to get it. If you don't get it you are basically a backwards idiot and should not even be playing this game.

To illustrate this fact another story from San Francisco,

There was a well known gallery there called the Grapestake Gallery.

All the hip people went there and shows sold out.

They had a show consisting of cardboard boxes torn apart and hanging on the wall. Yup they weren't even painted on.

When I saw that, even at the tender age of 21 I knew the art world was all about and I knew I could get away with anything.

Doll house

I got my granddaughter this dollhouse. She tried to get in the dollhouse. She backed up and tried to sit in the tiny chairs and eat the tiny ice cream cone.

I think we are attracted to small spaces because they are comforting.

I spend time looking at tiny house blogs. I am reevaluating space.

I think about how a hundred years ago, probably 6 people lived in the house I am in now. The closets are so small yet I am sure they were full of just enough clothes to live.

Now we have huge walk in closets and dressing rooms.

My hundred year old house was probably a pretty elegant house for its time. I can imagine very nice people lived here. With a big family.

I hope someday another good sized family lives here and fills up all the rooms with joy and laughter. This house wants 4 kids to live here. It wants a Mommy and a Daddy and a couple of dogs. This house wants to have lots of people over too to share life with.

What color is your parachute

One of the questions asked in "What color is your parachute?" is do you like to work alone or with other people.

the book asks a million questions to figure out what job is best for you.

I like to work alone but I like a lot of people around me all the time.

This is hard to do.

I think that is why I like tiny spaces,

A big empty house is awful.

to me

I hate the silence. To stop the silence I have to make something. I have to write and read or talk to someone.

The silence makes me creative out of necessity.

But when I paint I have to concentrate on the work and the painting is my person. I was thinking maybe I am painting a friend over and over and over.

the paintings take on a life of their own.

This is a true thing. My husband and I hang the whole show in our house for a while then I take it all to the gallery. WE actually experience a kind of mourning. It is not just me. He feels lonely too.

This tells me everyone is absolutely relational. Everyone wants somebody to be around. We were made for relating.

Harry Truman

I just saw a documentary on Harry Truman. He was the epitome of tenacity. Every second in his life was overcoming some kind of obstacle.

84 days after being in office as Vice President, Roosevelt died, making him president. A job he felt he was not remotely qualified for. Yet he said "I have to do it anyway. " the decisions he made were overwhelmingly horrible to make. He made them , and let it go.

It really made me think about my own life.

What does backbone look like. Harry Truman. Courage under constant fire.

He was willing to be unpopular no matter what it cost him.

And it cost him plenty.

I was thinking about that too, How often do I made decisions to be liked.

That is such a cowardly way to live.

Way better to let the chips fall and then die having really lived with integrity than to appease others and not be honest.

I was glad to have seen this documentary, Having courage fleshed out is always a good thing to have in your brain.

Doing what you don't want to do

Nobody likes to get up early and work out. Nobody likes to watch their weight and work on getting it down. Nobody likes discipline.

I met Jack LaLaine once. I worked in a health food store in San Francisco and he came in. He ordered carrot juice and greens.

He was really old when he came in. He told me there was nothing he hated more than getting up and working out.

You would think he would be so used to it that it would be easy to get up at 5 am and work out for an hour.

But sadly he said it killed him every morning to make himself get out of bed.

His Television show made it look like he was enjoying himself.

Why did he tell me this when I was just getting him some juice??

Why not tell someone else.

Why even tell anyone.

I thought he must have sensed that I needed to hear that.

We always think it is easier for other people to do this or that.

Maybe it is public speaking. Or selling or being out going.

Did you know Steve Martin was shy and hated to go to parties. He had to make himself do all he did too.

People think I am outgoing. Well I am but at first I am uncomfortable like everyone else. I question whether anyone will think I am crazy or boring or worse invisible.

I have to make myself talk to people. I really do. If you knew me you would never guess that. But it is true. I hate parties because I don't know what to say to strangers.

but I have devised a trick that makes it a little easier. I have learned to listen very hard and when people see that I am totally listening to them they open up and then I get engrossed and they are not strangers anymore. That is my plan for over coming shyness.

People

Each person has a unique gift to give to the world.

Some people influence thousands and some influence millions.

The difference between influencing thousands and millions is one thing.

communication.

The more ways you can communicate what your gift is the more impact you will have on society.

People are always in the being influenced mood. Always.

Everything we read, see, hear, etc is influencing how we perceive the universe.

Seems like a simple thought , an obvious thought but I am willing to bet that you have not thought of it.

Influencing is not a passive thing. It is proactive. And being influenced is a totally passive thing. You just stand there and you get influenced whether you want to or not.

It really helps to be aware of this fact and make sure you are influenced by good and encouraging things so that you will not have the life drained from you.

YOU SHOULD BE A GOOD INFLUENCE TO EVERYBODY ELSE OR YOU WILL AUTOMATICALLY BE A BAD ONE. Nothing is not changing. Everything is always going either one way or another. Every second of the day is either going one way or the other.

And you are giving or you are taking. Give everything you have every day and make sure it is good you are giving.

Think this " What can I do to help?" If you are thinking that you will be fine. I hope you don't think I have this down at all , I do not . But I know it is true and I know that it makes life beautiful and meaningful and wonderful .

Selfish people are never never never happy, which is pretty funny as that is their main goal. They will never attain what they seek. In fact Selfish stands for So Entirely Lifeless Floundering in Shallow Hole.

when you are sad

sometimes we are sad and that is ok. Everybody does not need to be happy all the time. If you know someone is going through a hard thing or you are then be sad. Being sad is the only way to ever be glad again. You need something to compare glad to so you have to be sad sometimes.

most people try and fight it and put on a good front.

I think you should wallow and be as sad as you can for as long as you need and then you will get it all out.

Sad is part of life and we should embrace it.

I find that if I concentrate on being as sad as can be it lasts a shorter time and it sort of cleans you out of tears.

All that salt leaving you is good for you.

you dont want to be a dead sea and just keep all that salt water in one place.

The sun

The rain is raining all around it falls on fields and trees. It rains on umbrellas here and on the ships at sea RLS

When it is raining and everyone is bummed out. There are always three things to do.

splash in the puddles that are only there when it rains.

don't water your lawn

cry and nobody knows you are crying.

Rain is like a crisis. You dont want it but it can make everything better when it is over.

It waters your soul even though you dont want it

and it cleans out your life and you can focus on what is important.

We forget what is important about every two seconds. and a nice crisis is a good way to remember.

Outside in

My son is a body builder and a strong man competitor.

When he was 16 he was a tall skinny lad with a desire to compete in something. He developed a tenacity that he enjoys to this day.

It build up more than his muscles.

Making your body your slave is good because as far as you push your body, your mind follows right behind.

There is body mind connection that cannot be overlooked.

If there was one thing that if you started doing it now would change everything. Everybody would say doing something we naturally don't want to do. Work out and spend more time learning. Two things that when you make yourself do them change you from the outside in.

My girls and Ahhh

My girls for France are done. They are what they are and they are screaming French if you ask me. I should know as everything I had in me absorbed everything I could while I was in France last year and soaked and soaked and soaked and then the girls were born.

A facebook friend asked me what French looked like. Let me tell you.

You can feel the ancient stones alive with all the people that have walked the ancient streets and lived in the ancient buildings. You can smell the wine growing everywhere. In France you cannot irrigate. They depend on natural rain to make the wine different every year.

Every person is slower than here and they are open to taking to you about where they are from and where they want to go.

I think you can know France just by going there. You can get it in your bones.The light is diffused and dreamy. Here it is harsh and glaring and jolting. There is comforts you like a kiss.

I would say France is sexy because it makes you feel alive and all mushy.

I know the south of France better than Paris but it is the same. Girls are girly there. My goal is to paint there because I wish I could parlez that into a show so everyone could bring a piece of France home with them. Ahhh

they

When we talk to ourselves we will often say," Oh I can't do that because they wouldn't like it. or "no way can I get away with that nobody would believe it was good", or the ubiquitous "What will they think?"

Who is this they person? Who does "They" really constitute. All other people. Yes. That is what we think to ourselves. All other people will not like what you want to do so you better not do it. Love will stop coming your way and you will be rejected as a person who has value.

That is the power of they. Reality is different. Every other person on the planet will not hate your idea. Some will love it. It is just a numbers game.

Your job is find the ones who do love it and ignore the ones who don't like it.

That is all.

Just find your market.

Now the secret of life is how to find your market.

I believe that you can find who likes you on facebook.

There that was easy and free. You get instant feedback and all you need is friends and their friends and their friends. Post your thing and see who says Oh I love it. Then email them and they will buy what you have. I think facebook has changed the marketing world. Where else will you find an audience of people who are not grumpy when they read your post. They are on facebook because they want to see what is new. I personally love it when people post pics of their new products. I like the fact that I do not look at a million things at a time, just a few and then it is not so overwhelming.

Market research is free now if you get a lot of friends on facebook. It does help to post a lot so you are not a stranger. I have purchased things because they were on facebook. I like knowing who is selling something, it makes a big difference to me.

Art and the art of living

Today I painted roses on my patio. I have a plain cement patio. . I was looking at it and thought why not paint what I want to see, I would like to walk on roses every day so why not paint. them.

The result is YES. It looks great and I wonder why I did not do that before.

I am a painter.

so my husband loved it and started to think seriously about finishing the work we had planned to do on the patio.

Paint sparks creativity in everyone. Oh yeah we can do this. It is easy. Solutions are often so easy and cheap and wonderful that we tend to overlook them. Everything you need is right here, right now. We think oh I have to buy this or that first. Maybe you have all the raw materials right there. And besides the more creative you have to be the more fun the result is. Your work will be unique without rushing to the store to buy what everybody else is buying. and every single time unique is more charming then store bought.