The Waterfall

Everybody has moments in their lives when something happens and it changes the course of their lives.

When I was fourteen, I went with my best friend to Ellensburg where there was a river all the college kids were inner tubing . They would be going down the river and then they would have to scramble to get back to land before the river went over a waterfall.

My friend jumped right in and did it without even thinking. She had a great time then it was my turn.

I was so afraid to falling over the waterfall that I could not even get into the water. I just sat there like a lump on the side watching everyone else.

I look back on that time now and see how that very day affected me. I starting thinking of myself as a fearful person. It took me years and years to overcome all kinds of fears. I developed this view of myself that I thought was just reality. My friend went on to be an incredibly courageous person and do all kinds of things . One event like the river can make or break your view of yourself.

Reliving the events that you made the story of what you are, is necessary to erase them. The stories we tell ourselves about ourselves are not always true.

WHAT HAPPENED IN A SPLIT SECOND A LONG TIME AGO, DOES NOT HAVE TO DEFINE YOUR WHOLE LIFE NOW.

A great Peace

today I had a great peace come over me listening to a sermon and a Sunday school book. Funny how you hear things you need to hear and it all becomes clear.

It's just like Someone is taking care of me and knows what I am thinking about.

Everything in this life is just a few minutes and then it is over and a long long long time starts and never ends.

Today I am thinking of the long long time and not the brief minute that I am here.

What a peaceful thought to know that no matter what, everything you have to go through here is just a few minutes. Just a blink and it is over. I makes things less scary. And doable . Its only a little while

the best baby

I do have the best baby grand daughter in the world. Let me tell you how I see her. She is amazingly obedient and creative at the same time. She does not cry when she is overtired or for more than a few seconds when she falls down.

She is happy almost all of the time.

She is loving and adaptable to changes in her life.

She is so small yet she is aware of others feelings.

She is so beautiful on the outside and equally beautiful on the inside.

She is joyful and courageous.

Her eyes are always looking for beauty and life.

She encourages me to press on even if we are both tired.

and most of all she has a tender heart which is the most lovely thing about her.

I do give her whatever is within my power to give her because I feel like I am feeding the start of a huge and great life that will impact many many people for the good. Her garden will be the most beautiful because of her soil that she was raised and nurtured in. I want to be compost for her life.

the door

When we are kids we want to run away when things are difficult or we feel we are not understood.

Adults do the same thing only in more elaborate ways. We watch too many movies. we do busy work. we lounge about and talk to much about nothing.

I heard that the door to change is just living through the moment when you feel like running away and just stay and see what happens. When you stay the door appears that is the door you have to go through to get to a better place. The door is scary and so that is why we run away. Don't even look at it, then it is not real.

the door has a mirror on it and it tells the truth. go through the door and it is freedom to be different. Avoid door and you avoid life and everything you can offer to life . Go through the door

Being there

When I am working hard on a show and I need 15 new paintings done in a month and I am just starting and I don't even have a clue what I will do(like what I am doing right now as I write this)

Well this is the best place in the world for me.

I have to fight for every one and it is agonizing sometimes and I feel like I am drowning. But then it is over and I stand back and it is like I was only birthing and now I have the baby. Birthing is no fun. but the baby is so worth it.

When I get the show up on walls in the gallery I am always blown away that I did that. I do not feel like it. I don't know where it comes from.

I can't do anything that good. No way/

But there it is all done. They are born. and now they do not belong to me anymore. They are free to go to where they will live in a new place.

It really is funny when someone says to me"Oh I wish I had your talent"

Talent smalent . I have no talent. I am just there. thats all. ask any artist in the world and they will totally agree!

listen

The important things of life are learned by only two ways. Listen or pain. Most people choose pain.

Of course it depends what you are listening to.

You have to listen to wisdom . How can you tell if it is wisdom or not. Not such an easy question. What might seem wise may be just fear.

Popular wisdom may keep you in a place where you do not grow .

Being too safe may cost you to big goal of your life.

Nobody who did any big thing did it without any risk.

You have to weigh the price of launching out into the unknown. The cost of being safe may be an even greater if it costs you your dream.

This is what I heard

You know the old saying "do what you love and the money will follow?"

It is true and nobody believes it.

True as true and the day is long but nobody believes it.

Ask anybody if they would rather be with people who are doing what they love and they will unanimously say "YES" There is an energy that is life giving and tremendously wonderful to just be with people who wake up in the morning and cannot wait to get to work on what they love.

Ask anybody if they want to be with someone who is just doing anything just for the money and they will say never. That is life draining.

My husband once had a life draining job but he changed his attitude and tried to find 5 things he honestly loved about his job. He did find 5 things and it made him a pleasure to be around.

You have to look sometimes to find it but it is important to do this and not waste time hating anything.

what happened

So we had a plan with the baby. I was going to talk to her about going home a long time before her mom showed up and get her emotionally ready. Then I took her to the car and strapped her in the carseat. I also told her that if she did not cry I would give her a treat.

IT WORKED> I know the third part is sort of a bribe but if she had something in her mouth she could not cry. So plan B is get to to do step one and two and not need step three anymore.

I was totally relieved that I did not have to spank her.

It was such a load off my mind that feel invigorated to to it again and see if it still works.

the joys of grandparenting are tremendous.