Tuesday, September 7, 2010


Some people hate birthdays. We like to think we have all the time in the world to do what we want but then a birthday comes along and it is so sobering that you feel mournful. 50 for me was like that. I did not see it coming.
I was so upset that I was that old and that I had accomplished nothing of value up to this point that it was like going to a firing squad. Now
I know why 50 is worse than 40 or 60.
You are not resigned yet. Once you are over it, it doesn't matter. You are used to being older and you come to grips with it but on your birthday night you might be in a tailspin over turning 50.
I have some tips for you to not be in total pain.
Surround yourself with others who are sympathic to your plight.
Talk about it. Face it and make a plan for part 2 of your life.

Do not approach 50 without at least 5 good and amazing plans for what you will do next.
Do not look back over the past. Nothing in the past matters. If you are a total failure then at 50 you can start again with a new plan and carry it out to not be a failure now.
If you were highly successful at what you wanted to do with your life then also push that aside and focus on the future.
There are five great things about getting older
You are less self conscious or really dont care what someone else thinks. Good use that to not be afraid.
You should have less responsibility at home so you can be freer to launch out and try new things.
You have extremely valuable knowledge that you gained along the way that now is ammunition to making the second part of your life much better than the first.
Your body is not in to bad of shape for planning new adventures yet. so that is good.
and finally you are more important to everyone else when you are older.
More people are linked to you so you have a broader base to live from.
think about this from one who has been there.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Listen or Pain

A friend told me that there were two ways to learn. listen or pain.
I know that yet do I listen carefully to others who have gone before me or do I have to go through unnecessary pain. Usually pain is a friend of mine who comes around every so often.
I was a wild child when I was young. My younger brother told me he watched what happened to me and did the opposite of it so he would not go through what I did.
I am glad to have been of service for someone.
So when I had my son, I tried to tell him everything that nobody told me so he could avoid pain as much as possible.
I know that he is making good choices in his life and I don't know if it is because of reason a or reason b but I am grateful either way.
I have talked to my friends and they have told me that they have not talked about everything to their children.
The best place to hear everything that they need to know is YOU.
You love them best, you have had experiences that you can use, and you will always be better than a stranger.
And you have to remember that when you tell them nothing about what you believe, you are telling them that is not important enough to even mention.
If you don't tell them someone else will.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

How it turned out.

My girlfriend told me to just start my painting in my mind while I was on vacation. I actually did not want to go as I wanted to start the big painting. Even though I had only a rough concept, I wanted to get it going.
But we had to go on vacation. In my other blog I go into detail about it but what I want to say here is that the theory worked. I did have a dream about the big picture and I did get the rough draft of it in my dream. But I let it stew a day and the full monty came later when I was not looking for it.
That is what I want to talk about today.
I truly believe that what you ask for will be forthcoming but not in the way that you think. We are not puppetmasters pulling Gods strings. It is pretty much the other way around.
And all I can say about this is Thank God that it is not me. I may think it is me sometimes but It is not. Nope. I am only available.
The thing about life is you don't have to know everything before you start. You only need to have faith that you will not have to really do anything except walk forward. Every step will come when it needs to. and not a second sooner. Don't you find that comforting. And TRUER WORDS WERE NE'RE SPAKE!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

A new work

I am working on a new concept painting. Today I primed out a 6 foot by 36 foot canvas. I am going to paint one idea all over the canvas and then cut it up into a show. That is the concept and I have never done this before but while I was just putting on the primer I was trying to imagine what the big idea would be. The big idea on the big canvas and I thought of the Henry Darger.
I think I will tell a story with lots of characters and lots of rooms and lots of colors. I have never done that before either. I am going to do a creative class thing and try and dream the solution tonight for the story and the characters and the colors. and the mood. and the reason for the show.
Every show should have a reason for existing.
Tonight is the night to think of the big idea. I will tell you what I come up with in the morning.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010


Ads have to be true to work. making some story up is not useful. everyone sees through it.
what makes you buy something is you think you need it.
If you could only have half of the things you have now , how many things would it be.
To be honest, most of my stuff is stuff I thought I needed but really really really did not.
Most of the products in my medicine cabinet are things I thought would work or do something useful , but did not. It is hard to toss something you paid good money for.
Toss it. move on. If you can throw it out then do. If you cannot because you really cannot throw it out because you love it or need it . If you say everytime you look at it "Oh I just love this. " Usually the things with me that I cannot live without are art things. I have a sculpture I look at every morning and I keep loving it more and more. Even more than when I first bought it. That is a keeper. I love my bedroom. I love my dining room and cannot live without it now because the chairs in it are so beautiful.
But someone could come in and take all my clothes and most everything else and It would not matter. I might want the hard drive of this blog and the pictures of my paintings but the rest is tossable.
Now should you toss just because you don't love it?? the real answer is yes because it takes your energy to live otherwise. This is truer than true.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

New York and Paris

I spent some time in New York a couple of years ago.
I was thinking how different the energy is there. For some reason everyone is in a massive hurry. They power walk down the streets. The river of people carries you down the street at the same pace. You even have to look fast at the wonderful shops and go on. You have to order fast because there is a sea of people behind you.
You get this sense of excitement that makes you feel important.
The buildings look important.
In Paris everything is different. There are still tons of people but they are way way way more relaxed. And they are all dressed up all the time. It is hard to find a shabby dresser in Paris. There is a sweetness in Paris that is like savoring a great glass of wine with a friend. It makes you feel all glowy.
New York is like a sledge hammer of excitement .
New York and Paris have one thing in common., they both are natural cities. When you live there you become like the city. Other cities you can just be yourself but in Paris and New York you are sublimated by the actual energy of the city itself. You have to yield .

Friday, August 6, 2010


My husband and I are going to start doing interviews with artists who have been artists for a long time. We are going to show their work the whole time they are talking so you can see what they are talking about. I was going to show them talking but I think it is better to just let their work talk too.
looking at the person talking makes them uncomfortable and I would rather look at their work.
that is why you do interviews anyway. To see if there is something they know that you don't.
At least that is why I am doing these and these are going to be plenty interesting too.
I will ask them what I want to know. I do not care about the past and where they grew up. who cares about that. Your work is all that matters. Unless you have some fantastic story like you were raised by wolves something but even that would become what you are.
And art is not about what happened to you buy what was came out of you.
the first one to be interviewed is me. Even though you know a lot about me talking every day this will be about the actual art. not me. Yo will see what I mean when I do it. I sure hope my web guy can put this movie on this website so you all can see it.
If you are an artist and want to be interviewed let me know and I will contact you if you are really great. and pretty old so I assume you have learned a lot along the way.