restless agony

I have redone my nudes four times now and am going to do another change. They are eluding me and I am looking all over for them. I need something because I am at a loss. I often think "did Matisse look at a blank canvas and shudder.

I remember what Edward Hopper said about painting. How he loathed it.

How can you hate something that feeds you.

Well I need to be stung to life and have to find something new and fresh and inspiring today. I do not know where to start looking. I have found inspiration in the past from weird places. someone passes me and I see it. I am walking up a hill or driving to nowhere and I see it.

It must be in the air and I just have to get my body to the place where it is so it will rain down on me. Its not in me. It is outside of my mind but I will recognize it when I see it.